That Floating Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

As we consider the television landscape of the recent year, a selection of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. From cringe-inducing sequels to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. Briefly, as the final season started, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, viewers certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the least of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to start listing the flaws. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and consumption? The seemingly wilful procession of tropes? Acting so bad they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this series again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but flippant narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Dodgy characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing accents. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just really dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which seemed rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into quaint lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing brochure. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of talented younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely breezy, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for explicit exploits as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.